Motivated

I've been motivated by progress. Since tracking my calories and feeling some renewed determination using SparkPeople.com, I've started to see some real progress. I'm at my all-time low of 145.4, my clothes are definitely getting looser and I'm getting stronger. I'm tracking my mileage from my walking/jogging and I'm doing about 15 to 20 miles a week, which is impressive to me! In fact, I'm going to take the kids on a long walk today. It's great to actually feel like my efforts are paying off. I'm still having my food days and I still think about food constantly, so I have a long way to go, but it's nice to be going in the right direction.

Progress

I am finally making some real progress with my diet. I've even increased my exercising. I'm jogging most days and walking several miles in the afternoons. I'm keeping my calories between 1200 and 1600, depending on how active I've been that day, on most days. I'm tracking my calories and my fitness and my water intake.

I'm not entirely sure of the reason for the turnaround, although I think a big part of it is that I've joined a new weight loss website that I find to be particularly motivating. (SparkPeople.com) It uses a point system and awards and has some cool tracking options that motivates me to do well. I found them when I saw their diet book on Amazon.com. Anyway, if you're looking for motivation, I highly recommend checking them out.

I've also become more friendly with one of the girls in my mom's group. We've known each other since October, but have only recently began spending time together away from the group. Her husband is also away overnight for work so we have dinner together quite a bit. Not only to give each other company and distract the kids, but also to share the cooking, cleanup and child care aspects of dinnertime. Its been working out really well. She's very easy to be around because we share similar positions on child rearing and she isn't in competition wiht me at all. On top of all that, she is also trying to lose weight and we are jogging/walking together most mornings. We can share our ups and downs with food without worry of censure and we know the other understands. We even have similar food issues. I'm very lucky to have become friends with her.

Everything else is plodding along. I didn't get a chance to post my weigh-in, but I was down to 147 this week. Hoping to hit 145 next week, but we'll see. I know that I don't tend to see much progress on the scale when I'm working out a lot. It'll come off with time. I'm in that awkward phase between pants sizes and I'm hoping to lose enough to get out of my baggy pants and into a size 10. That will be great!

This is It

How many times have I told myself "This is it!" thinking that I had finally made the firm decision to lose weight once and for all, only to lose that determination, slowly or suddenly, over the following weeks, days or even hours? I've had so many "aha!" moments, I think I don't actually know what an "aha" moment is. I've convinced myself many times that I have hit a turning poing in my life...only to realize that nothing has actually changed. My "This is it!" became: "This is it (I hope)!" or "This is it (please)!" or "This is it (until it's not)!"

I am on my umpteenth "This is it!" I am tracking calories, making smart choices, exercising, not snacking at night...doing everything "right." And, you know what? This IS it, right now. And that's okay if I slide back to some bad habits, because every "This is it" has been a forward part of my journey. So "This is it right now!" is my new catchphrase. Every good choice I make, is a time I didn't make a bad choice. Those add up, as surely as does the calories and the pounds. It isn't "on" or "off," it just is whatever is happening at that point in time and every moment of every day is "This is it right now."

An Imrovement

I've had an improvement in my eating over the past couple days. I ate less than 1300 calories both today and yesterday. Yesterday I didn't exercise, other than a couple hours shopping, but today I went for a bike ride with the kids and am about to get on the treadmill. I feel much more able to control myself. I went out and bought a food scale because I'm determined to track my calories better.