Sunday, September 27, 2009

Bouncing Ball

Still doing my up and down, one step forward and two steps back routine. I've been barely maintaining the exercising - although, I guess I could say that I have managed to do at least 3 days a week, even if 2 of the days is a 30 minute walk. I have been going to Jazzercise class every week, but only once last week instead of 3 times as I'm supposed to be doing. Last week was really hectic with work and hubby was working out of town, as well as having sick kids and fighting a cold myself, so I could cut myself some slack. In fact, the one day I did go to Jazzercise, I'd been working non-stop since I woke up in the morning and had a raging headache and a sore throat, but decided to go anyway because I knew if I stop now I'll never start up again. And I had heard that if you're feeling poorly, and it isn't lung-related or accompanied by a fever, exercising can actually make you feel better. And it did! My headache was gone and my energy was back. Unfortunately, I was feeling very body-achey on Thursday, the next class, and knew I couldn't manage the exercises so I walked on the treadmill instead. Tomorrow is the next class and I am for sure going.

Work is crazy busy - busier than it's been in more than a year. Which is good for the money but difficult to keep up with and I have a constant feeling of stress because of the sheer volume of my inbox. I'm just waiting for someone to complain. But, so what if they do? I worry about these things too much. It isn't like I'm not doing the work!

Eating is still not going that great. The only thing saving me from a pig-for-all is the lack of junk food in the house. If I do get the slightest big of junk food in, I consume it in short time. I did make some healthy meals last week, so that was good. But, I've been inhaling copious amounts of popcorn because that's the only snack food in the house. And I mean, eating 2 or 3 bowls a day throughout the day. With butter and salt. Twice I've eaten past the point of fullness. Clearly I have not defeated my food demons.

I am keeping up with my diet journal, at least. I'm on Day 101 with it. I write in it at least every couple days. Obviously it's not had a huge impact on me, but I haven't exactly been writing with purpose. In that, I haven't been trying to determine when I overeat or want to eat for emotional reasons and what just happened or is going on in my head at that point in time. I also haven't been working on my positive thinking. Or some personal goals I had set down for myself.

On the other hand, I'm continuing to be a busy, productive person. I'm continuing to maintain a status quo for myself with regard to how much time I spend being productive versus sitting on my arse, and with regard to exiting the house and thrusting myself amongst my fellow humans. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, as ever, and eventually I will see change. I have to believe that or what would be the point of doing anything?

Thursday, September 17, 2009


Wow, it's been a while, I guess. If I'm not blogging, I'm usually struggling with my weight and to stay on track. I had finally reached 154 and then in the next weekend I ate and ate my way back to 159. I'm getting back down toward 154 again, but of course it's taking me 10 times as long to get back down than it took to go back up.

Anyway, I did reach one of my ultimate goals, though, and joined a Jazzercise class!! I actually joined last week and attended a class last Thursday. I went to the second class on Monday and today is my third class. Its very affordable (the cost works out to about $2 per session) and really is a good workout. Plus, I needed to get out and meet other people.

The first night was pretty good. I did way better keeping up with the moves than I had thought I would. I am SO happy I'd already been exercising for a while or I would not have been able to do a lot of the exercises. Its cool because after 30 minutes of cardio, there's 15 minutes of strength training with handweights and then some core work and stretching, so you get the full gambut.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Weigh-In & New Goal

Weight: 156.4
Loss: 2.2

That would be excellent if it weren't for that the last time I weighed in was several weeks ago. Actually, it is excellent anyway, cuz it's going in the right direction, right? And I'm nearing my all-time low in 7 years, which is 154.

So, I haven't had any clear goals, other than to keep losing weight and eat healthier and stay exercising. Which are good goals, but not specific, set goals. I haven't wanted to pressure myself to have to lose a certain amount by a certain time because I felt if I wasn't doing well then I would want to give up.

And maybe that is true of me before, but I don't think it is anymore. I've had a LOT of falls on this journey but I have continued to move forward. I've done a lot of back steps and side steps, but I haven't stopped and given up. The fact that I've been doing this for more than a year tells me how far I've come.

I actually have a vacation planned! I put in a request a few weeks ago for the week of Thanksgiving off from work. An entire week of no work!!! I'll be taking the kids to Southern California to visit my family. I may have to go into the office too, which I haven't been in in nearly a year. I want to be MUCH thinner before I go down there. I would love to be 110, but that isn't going to happen. So I used the tools on FitDay to establish a reasonable goal weight for myself, which is 140. That means I need to lose 1.5 pounds per week. I've been losing 0.5 pounds on average per week, so this will mean putting a lot more effort into my weight loss. I'm ready for that and even a little excited at the prospect of having a real goal to achieve. It will feel great to be able to achieve a specific goal like that.

So, today is the start of my new goal - 140 pounds by November 20. Which means I need to lose 16 pounds.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Money Woes

So the company both I and my husband work for has decided they are no longer going to pay the full portion of the medical costs for employees - we are now sharing the premium costs. This results in an extra $340 per month out of our paychecks. We had already been paying for the kids' premiums so we will be paying a total of more than $600 per month in insurance premiums for the family. That's a lot of money for us to be paying more per month on a one week notice. I've been pretty ticked about it, in fact. Its essentially a significant pay decrease. I know a lot of people pay this much and more for their medical costs; the difficulty is that we have this sudden, unexpected expense for which we are not financially prepared. We will have to reconsider all of our expenses but I had already stripped most of our unnecessary expenses, so I don't know where the money will come from, or what we won't be able to pay as a result. I think we can still manage, but it does mean little to no disposable income and having to try to work more hours. But, that's the problem, too, we haven't been working full time still since the work slowdown last year. A couple weeks ago I only managed to bill 19 hours for the entire week.

Suffice it to say, I'm feeling extremely stressy and upset about this situation. The night I learned of it, I tried to go for a jog to let off some steam, but I broke my toe a couple weeks ago and its not healed yet enough for me to walk long much less jog. Of course, that added to my angst at the time.

My eating has been extremely up and down. Sometimes I'm super restrained and other times I just don't seem to give a damn. Consequently, per usual, I'm not losing or gaining weight. I keep evening the scales in my calorie consumption.

I never went back to TOPS but maybe I will today. I don't know...