Thursday, April 30, 2009


Weight: 163.6
Lost: 1.4

A pound and a half is good! I was worried I would be up a little because I was really bad with drinking water yesterday, but it was exactly the same as the day before. Happy with that! I'm looking forward to being in the 150's again for the first time in years. It will feel wonderful and it's so close!

I did well with getting my work done and my house fairly clean. I can always find more stuff to clean on the house, but its tidied and clean for the most part. My parents should be here soon. The only bummer is it is supposed to rain the entire visit! And there's not much to do around here when it's raining. Oh well.

I just hope having visitors doesn't impact my time to exercise. I'm on day 25 - 1/4 way there! I want to keep going to my goal. I still have to exercise today, even, but was going to suggest we all go for a walk if it isn't raining yet when they get here.

Anyway, must get going.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


I am sitting down (aside from while working) for the first time today. My parents are coming to visit tomorrow, so it's been running errands and cleaning house all evening/night. Plus, to give me more free time while they're visiting as they're only here until Sunday, I've been trying to cram as much work in as possible this week. I'm TIRED! Its 11 pm and I just want to stay prone for 12 hours at least.

I didn't do my second workout today because of being so busy, but I did my noon-time workout DVD, this time the Pilates DVD. I love that one, I feel so loose and relaxed afterward. Not to mention I can now really feel the changes going on in my body as I become stronger and in better shape.

I don't know why, but I decided to calculate how many miles I would have to walk to burn off the equivalent of 48 pounds (how much I need to lose to get to the outside of my ideal weight) times 3500 calories. It turns out, I need to walk 55,968 miles to burn 48 pounds off. That's a lot of miles!!! If I do three miles per day, which is generally what I complete, times 5 days per week, it will take me 3731 weeks to walk off my 48 pounds if I don't restrict calories at all. WOW!! That's a long, long time. Over 70 years in fact. That's crazy!! So I guess I won't be merely walking off my poundage in this lifetime :P.

Anyway, off to read my book in bed. I wonder how many calories I burned cleaning tonight...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Run-Down, Hungry Faltering

I am having more trouble today. I just feel bone-weary for some reason. Maybe having a sick kid in the house. Or just trying to juggle everything we working mums have to juggle. Or just not eating enough. I don't know.

I was reading this article today that explained that people who try to diet cut their calories back too much and end up either giving in and bingeing or lose the weight but gain it back. We've all done that, right? So, it described how to calculate the number of calories one needs and you're supposed to subtract from that number 250 to have the number of calories you should eat in a day.

The calculation was based on a number devised by the amount of exercise you get times your weight. My numbers were 164 x 15.5 = 2542. So that would mean that I need to eat nearly 2300 calories per day!! That doesn't seem right - in fact, I know it isn't right because I know I need to be well until 2000 calories per day to lose weight, even with exercise.

But, it did get me wondering if I'm eating too few calories. I thought I was doing well because I average 1300 to 1500 calories per day. Sounds about right, no? Except that I am exercising every day - and for the past week or so I've been exercising twice per day most days. Take today for example: I did 30 minutes of Denise Austen's Boot Camp Cardio/Weight Training DVD workout and then later I did 75 minutes on the treadmill. I only kept the treadmill at 3 miles per hour, but it was on an incline the entire time.

So, maybe I'm not getting enough calories and that will ultimately undermine my efforts, causing my body to start conserving. But, I'm worried about turning around and upping my calories and then losing the benefits I've gained.

So... I should eat when I'm hungry but just be aware of eating healthy food - and, of course, keep up with the exercise. That's the lifetime diet plan anyway. Maybe counting calories isn't the best for me because it makes me worry about every bite I eat and I don't want to live like that.

Ugh! I can't seem to find my way to the right weight loss path. I'm just tired and irritable. The house is a mess and I have no energy to clean it.

Tomorrow will be better.

Monday, April 27, 2009

First Goal Met

I finally met one of my goals - I did 7 days in a row of staying on plan. I stayed well within my calorie limit and exercised for all 7 days. I have finally broken my habit of following a couple of good days with a couple of bad days. Strangely enough, I'm also finally seeing consistent progress with my weight loss. :)

I was bummed this morning to be back to the weekday grind, but at least we're nearly done with Monday and I have Friday off. My parents are coming to visit. I don't know if I'm pleased or not. Well, I am pleased, but also kinda worried too because my parents and my husband don't always get along. And it means a lot of preparation, such as cleaning. Not that the house is bad, but my mother is especially observant of cleanliness and with three kids... you know how it goes.

Anyway, I'm off to do a workout DVD before finishing my work for the day.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Good Weekend

I've had a good weekend thus far. Yesterday, I got the house all cleaned up and my living room rearranged before hubby got home. After he'd had time to unwind, we went out to dinner with the two younger kids because my 13 year old was at a sleep-over. We came home and talked and then went to bed early.

I did really well at dinner last night - ate only half of a plate of veggies, chicken & pasta with no sauce and a dinner roll. I did have a piece of cheesecake for dessert though. I felt fine after dinner; not the usual stuffed I feel when going out to eat.

I woke at 6:30 this morning and couldn't fall back asleep. I finally got up and had some coffee and high-fiber cereal. I took a shower and then went for a walk to the end of my street and back (2 miles, 1/4 of which is a hill). Today we are going to a new friend's house for lunch (yes, I finally have made a friend!). This is our first social activity since moving to Redding.

I have now completed 21 days of exercise!! I feel great for it and am actually really happy I made that goal. I feel smaller and lighter and stronger. In fact, while walking back home I was thinking how grateful I am for having to worry about my weight because otherwise I wouldn't have realized how great it feels to eat healthier and exercise every day. Does that sound perverse? My husband thought so :)

Well, off to do laundry, yay.

Thursday, April 23, 2009


Weight: 165.0
Lost: 1

Not horrible, especially considering it's "that time of month." I am still continuing with my daily exercise, although I've only been up to doing the treadmill workout the last 2 days. But, I'm still doing more than an hour each day on the treadmill.

Work is super busy, although I guess that's a good thing. Hubby is still out of town and won't be back until Saturday night at the ealiest. He has spent 5 days at home in the past 4 weeks :(

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Still Hot

Still near the 100 degree mark today. Today has been a struggle because I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I tossed and turned more than I slept. They say the hormone that creates the feeling of hunger is more prevalent in the system when one doesn't get enough sleep and I certainly feel that.

On the upside, I have completed 16 days of working out continuously. This morning I did an old Cindy Crawford workout DVD that I actually really like. It's a bit eighties in the style of workout, but it's a nice change and it isn't a high-aerobics workout. Tonight I'll do some treadmill work as well, since the Crawford workout isn't very long. And I had to skip the ab workout thanks to yesterday's core workout.

I think I'll make cucumber sandwiches for dinner. I really need to eat more veggies - only once in the past week I've met my goal of 35 grams of fiber per day. It doesn't help when I start the day with a bowl of Cap'n Crunch instead of Fiber One or oatmeal.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Hot and no TV

It was nearly 100 degrees today. We were going to go for a walk on a new trail we'd found, but it was just too darned hot. When we'd walked on Sunday, my 6-year old had been red-faced for a good hour after and it wasn't as hot as it was today. So, I did another round on my treadmill while listening to another CD of my book. It works out good because each CD is 65 to 75 minutes long, which is a good length of time to walk. I walked nearly 4 miles tonight. And I am really enjoying the book so I don't feel like it's a chore. I also did a Pilates Core Challenge DVD this morning. Or, at least some of it. It is REALLY difficult. I was able to do most of the exercises in the first 20 minutes, but then it got to poses I couldn't hope to achieve. That's okay, though, because I'll work my way up to them and I feel I got a good workout in the 20 minutes.

In an effort to save money, I turned the Satellite TV off, thinking that with digital TV now it will be easy to hook something up in its place. Unfortunately, you still need an antenna, which I hadn't figured for, and this house does not have an antenna. I know you can get "bunny ears" but I also know they don't always work well. So, I will have to wait until hubby gets home and have him rig something workable up. Which means no BL tomorrow :( BL is the ONLY program I watch religiously each week. Its usually the only thing I watch at all on TV, which is why I got rid of the satellite TV. It's a bummer not to be able to see this week's. But, not the end of the world. And we can still watch DVD's if we want and I've rented "The Reader."

Food-wise, did pretty well today. I still need to eat a lot of veg to get my fiber up but it hasn't been bad. I tried one of Healthy Choices new line of frozen dinners, the Potstickers meal, and it was pretty good although I don't like Tofu. I really liked the sauce though and FINALLY it had brown rice instead of white.

Well, enough rambling for me tonight...

Sunday, April 19, 2009

As if on cue...

Despite feeling well yesterday morning, the day went downhill pretty quick. First, I developed a severe migraine, and, although I was able to take my medication fast enough to overcome it, I was down for a good 2 hours. During that time, I still had to watch the little ones, not an easy feat.

Then the van battery was found dead - again! Very frustrating. I had to ask a neighbor for help - again!

Then, when I complained to hubby, he went off on me, saying that he couldn't trust me and obviously the kids were running amok and the house was falling apart. I was SO SO SO upset! I get NO credit for how difficult it is to be responsible for the house, kids and work, by myself, when he is out of town working. Not to mention the fact I have NO friends or family within 600 miles of where we live.

Even later, when he had calmed down, he insinuated that taking care of kids and house is done by all mothers and why should I complain when they don't? Also, that my resentment of him having to work out of town is making it difficult for him to do his job.

I really dislike that man sometimes. And I never realized what a mysoginist (sp) he is.

So, needless to say, I ended my day with overeating *sigh*. Will I ever learn?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Feeling Pretty Good

I feel pretty good today, despite a lingering headache from last night. I did get on the treadmill last night, thanks to the encouragement of a fellow blogger, and did 75 minutes, burning 400 calories, so the machine said. Although, I think the machines are generous with the numbers. I felt super tired and went to bed with a book while the older kids watched a scary movie.

This morning I woke early after yet another night of undisturbed sleep from the 1 year old :) I can't tell you what a difference it makes when I'm not being woken to warm a milk in the middle of the night, or twice or thrice. I didn't even realize how much sleep I was missing as a result until the last few nights. I am REALLY happy he's sleeping through at the moment, although I'm worried it's just a minor trend and he'll resort to his previous nightly routine.

I made the kids french toast for breakfast, bathed the baby (he got banana in his hair) and paid the older girls $10 each to clean out my van :) I did a quickie yoga DVD for back health and will go for a walk later. Or get back on my treadmill because I'm listening to an interesting book on CD at the mo. I have dishes and laundry to do, food to buy and I am going to visit a "gently used" kids clothing store to buy some pants for my 6 year old, who has gone through a major growth spurt. We're still struggling financially, so I don't want to spend more than $20. If I don't find anything there, I guess I can go to a thrift store, although I actually hate the smell of thrift shops. I know that sounds snobbish, but they just seem unclean to me. Its one of my neurosis. Not that I haven't ever purchased anything in a thrift shop, because I have, I just prefer the second-hand clothing shops for kids because it seems cleaner.

Anyway, best get on, I have b-fast dishes to wash.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Long-Awaited Friday

Today has been super busy. I had to run my daughter to a club meeting she's just joined, meet everyone, round my two little ones back up and head home. By the time I got back home, I had one hour to work before going back to pick her up, more meeting ppl and chatting, then back home, couple hours more work done and now I have to go get something for dinner. My daughter is also having a friend stay the night, so they want me to take them to pick up a movie.

Food-wise, I've been doing well. I found these low-fat Eggo frozen waffles, 2 of which are 140 calories and are very good with a bit of low-sugar jam. Plus they have 6 grams of fiber!

Yesterday I got my fiber to 38! I thought that was really good. Today, however, I'm only at 10. Need to have a very high-fiber dinner. But, I've only had 510 cals today, so I have plenty of calorie notes to make up for some fiber.

Still need to do my workout today. I skipped it with all the running around I did today and I already want to say "I'll just skip today" but I have my goal of 100 days and I want to get there! So, I HAVE to jump on the treadmill today.

Anyway, off to run more errands.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


Just a quickie for my weigh-in. I am happy with the numbers, though I was hoping to drop down into 165. Still, doing better:

Current Weight: 166.0
Weight Lost: 1.6

Had a productive grocery trip yesterday and got a LOT of fruits and veggies, bran cereal, etc. Tried to keep everything we purchased to high fiber foods. Yesterday I only got my fiber to 19 grams, but I kept fat to 10 grams and calories to 1001. Not that I plan on keeping my calories that low, that's just how yesterday went. For dinner I had one serving of chicken teriyaki with rice skillet meal (1/2 cup) and a strawberry smoothie made with frozen, unsweetened strawberries and water (it was yummy!). I wasn't hungry after that so I didn't eat anything else.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Things I Can Do Now

I've been reading yet another diet book because I find they are motivational when I need a boost to my weight loss efforts. As with most recommendations, the author recommended the dieter take things one day at a time. However, I realized today that we need to take things one day at a time and not become overwhelmed by how much farther we need to go, but we can forget to look at the bigger picture. The bigger picture isn't just about how much weight I still need to lose, it's also about how far I've come thus far. It's good to focus on today and what I need to do to stay on target today, but I need to celebrate the my achievements, and I don't mean in pounds. So, while I was working out on the treadmill, I was trying to think of everything I can do now that I couldn't do a year ago. Here's some of the things I came up with:

I can wash dishes without it hurting my back.
I can pick up and hold my 1 year old for longer than 30 seconds.
I can play chase with my kids.
I can bend down and pick something up off the floor.
I can stand on one leg.
I can bend down forward to tie my shoes.
I can do a full sit-up.
I can get out of bed in the morning without feeling achey and stiff.
I can think up healthy food to make for dinner without referring to a cookbook.
I can shop without having to refer to a book for which foods are healthier.
I can walk up the long hill at the end of my street without having to rest halfway up.

And many, many more. Just thinking about all the things I can now do made me put a little extra effort in my workout and I felt happy with myself.

I have made a decision about my diet. I have decided that the WW plan is too loose for me, I want something more stringent, something with solid walls that I can't cross. WW allows too much give. For instance, I can eat 2 servings of full-fat ice cream on WW and still stay within my points allowance. But, I know eating the ice cream isn't the best thing for me so, while I am remaining within the parameters of the "diet" I am still not making the best food choices.

After a LOT of reading the past two days, I have decided on a new diet. I am aiming for a low-fat (no more than 20 grams of fat per day) high-fiber (35 grams or more) diet. This way, I'm eating well and have to account for what I'm eating, but its no more complicated than calculating points for WW. I just tally the fat content and the fiber content of everything I eat and keep my fat to no more than 20 and my fiber to around 35 and I'm good. Also, apparently fiber not only makes one feel fuller longer, but it cancels out some of the calories already eaten. Not sure how that works.

Also, another book I read was a study of 250 people who lost significant amounts of weight and have kept the weight off. Most of them use a low-fat diet. It is also the diet my parents have been using and have been so successful. That's good enough reason for me.

Also, I read in another book about how it's important to choose a diet that works for you. I can't do low-carb, I LOVE carbs, and I don't mind eating complex carbs as opposed to simple carbs. I am, eventually, going to aim to purge my diet of all simple sugars, but one thing at a time!

Today I've had:

1 cup coffee w/ 1% milk & sugar
1 serving hot oatbran cereal w/ 1/2 tsp honey
1 cup broccoli
1/4 cup dried cherries
1 baked potato w/ low-fat cheese

I still have dinner to eat and probably a snack later on. I am only at 5 g of fat but I still need a lot of fiber, so I'm having veggies and whole-grain pasta for dinner with some fruit for dessert.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day and I hope I get a good number!

Oh, and I have now completed 10 days of my goal of 100 days of exercise. Just 90 days to go!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


I was talking to my sister the other day and she was telling me about how my parents had decided around New Years' to lose weight and how well they were doing. Apparently, my dad has already lost about 20 pounds and my mom about 10 or 15 pounds. They are eating low-fat and exercising by walking, either around their neighborhood or on their treadmill. My sister said they both look noticably thinner.

I was looking at my weight loss efforts. My first weigh-in this year was January 21 and I weighed 169.6 pounds. This morning I weighed 167.0 pounds. That means I have effectively lost 2.6 pounds in 3 1/2 months. That's frustrating. Where's my 15 or 20 pound loss? Why are my parents doing so well, in their 60's, and I'm struggling each week, sometimes losing a little, then gaining a little back.

I know I was doing pretty well the last few weeks, and my current weight is lower than it was a month ago, but I have already reversed some of the effects of my hard earned weight loss when I regained a pound. If it wasn't for the fact that I have weighed in the upper 160's to lower 170's since, like, October 2008, it wouldn't be so bad. I may be slightly lower now than I was 6 months ago, but I am losing less than a quarter of a pound per month on average.

I bemoaned my lack of progress to my sister after she told me about my parents' success and she said they are DETERMINED to lose weight. She said they don't cheat, ever. She said they are rigorous in their daily exercise. She said they take the time to prepare healthy meals and they only buy healthy food.

I have ice cream in my freezer. Why do I have ice cream? I buy ALL the food that comes into this house. I should be able to control what food is available at home.

It was hard to be reminded that, although I have been doing pretty well, I have not been doing well enough for a significant, steady weight loss. I know that I go over my weekly points every week. I know that I am eating when I'm not necessarily hungry. I know that I have my fall-down days, a little too often. I know that I exercise half-heartedly some days and don't even work up a sweat. I know how much effort I'm really putting in and, on average, it is about half a pound a month.

My goal today, and tomorrow, and the next day, until I "get" it, is to fully embrace determination. I want to get my head around what I really want; do I want to be thinner? healthier? stronger? Or do I want to eat to cope emotionally? To eat out of boredom? To eat because I'm sad or frustrated or unhappy or don't feel loved.

It doesn't escape my notice that my eating habits are appalling when hubby is home. I revert back to old, bad habits.

This morning, I woke early and couldn't get back to sleep. I kept thinking of that phrase from the Dr. Phil show: "This is going to be a changing day in your life." Not that I particularly care for Dr. Phil, but I love that phrase. It kept repeating in my head. I want today to be a changing day in my life. I want the DETERMINATION, to not just lose weight but to take control and stop letting my moods control me.

Firstly, I want to eat only when I'm hungry and stop when I'm not. I've learned to recognize when I'm eating when I'm not hungry, but I haven't learned to JUST SAY NO.

Secondly, I want to push myself physically. No more half-hearted exercises. I want to continue to feel stronger and healthier.

Thirdly, when I eat, I want it to be healthy. I know that white bread tastes better, but so what? The taste lasts so briefly. The POINT of eating is sustenance, not taste. The benefits of eating healthier go way beyond five minutes of pleasure during the eating of less nutritious food.

No more hiding behind excuses. It's difficult to change; I know that. If I was no longer fat, what excuse would I have not to be more active? more social? I don't have to go out and meet people, because I'm fat and I don't like how people automatically judge me based on my weight. I don't have to take time to make myself look and feel prettier, because I'm fat and make-up won't change that. I don't have to try to push myself to do activities with other people, because I'm fat and I can't do it well enough.

When I joined my gym I was offered 5 sessions with a trainer. You know why I didn't take them up on that? Because I'm too fat. I wouldn't be able to do the exercises very well anyway. And I don't want some fit, young trainer looking at my wobbly, jiggly body.

I'm not happy with myself, with the niche I have carved for myself. But, it is SAFER to stay here, where I know what to expect, than to change things up and have the unexpected happen. I am RESISTANT to change.

Only I can decide when enough is enough and realize that being in a safe unhappy zone is no way to live.

Today is going to be a changing day in my life. I can do this.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I've been a bad, bad girl...

Yesterday, I went off plan. Not even just kinda had a bad day, or had a minor bad day, I had a HUGE bad day. Actually, it wasn't "bad" at all, I just didn't care a hoot what I ate. Actually, that isn't true either - I cared but I allowed myself to eat what I wanted. Not in a "I already ate bad so I may as well eat whatever I want" but in a "ya know, go ahead and have a day off." And it was good, but I'm MORE happy to be getting back to my healthier way of eating, which is funny. Everything I ate, I was conscious of the calories, which is definitely a good thing. No mindless eating, I was aware of the calorie bank getting to overflowing. I haven't added up the points for yesterday, but I'll do that. It won't be pretty.

I did a little bit of exercise, I walked from about a mile home when I had hubby drop me off on our way back. This was post-Carl's Jr for dinner so I was really having a hard time moving my butt. It definitely makes a difference when you eat poorly.

Well, I'm off to the library, then Wal-Mart for a b-day present for a b-day party we are attending this afternoon. It's one of my 6-year old's classmates and at a park so we're all going and we'll have the other kids play in the park while my 6-year old attends the party. After that, I need to exercise, just not sure if it will be by way of walk, using the neglected machines in the garage or one of my exercise DVD's. I'm on Day 17 of my goal to exercise 100 days, so I want to keep it up!

Friday, April 10, 2009

And so it goes...

Doing okay today, although not great. Yesterday was good for the most part, but had a low-fat cheese quesadilla and half a brownie while watching the Southland premier. I wasn't even THAT hungry but I started getting some serious cravings. At least it didn't get out of hand. When the brownie obviously wasn't satisfying anything, I stopped eating it halfway through. That's a triumph, right?

I've been really moody the last couple days and I can't decide if it's from having hubby home and the disturbances in the force that causes or if its PMS. Probably both actually. Hubby and I have kissed and made up, in a big way, but I still feel he's somewhat detached from the relationship or doesn't have the depths of feelings for me that I have for him. Hard to say if that's just a difference in personality or real or part of my own mental issues. The PMS is pretty real though and I'm not looking forward to tomorrow when it peaks.

Hubby is going to WA Tuesday and will be gone at least another week :(

No plans for Easter, except NOT to buy any candy. Actually, I don't think we could afford to buy any anyway. My 6 year old had an Easter party at school and is going to an Easter/Birthday party tomorrow, so I don't feel she's missing out on anything and my 13 year old has plans to spend Easter with her friend at their church. My 1 year old certainly doesn't know what's going on. So, Easter will be just a reg ol' family day in this house. May try to talk hubby into going for a hike.

That's about all that's happening here.

Thursday, April 9, 2009


I knew today's weigh-in wasn't going to be good after the past week. I have been tracking my calories using my diet journal and the WW points, so I knew I ate an extra 2 days' worth of calories. And I had a lot of non or low-nutritional, high-fat foods or desserts. That said, here are my numbers:

Current Weight: 167.6
Weight Lost: 0
Weight Gained: +1.4

I could consider it a step back and be really upset, but I've decided to consider that although I had to work really hard to get to 166.2 last week, if I hadn't gotten that low my gain this week would have pur me a lot closer to back at 170. And I know I can lose the 1.4 again. I have to remember that ups and downs are part of the process and BE PATIENT.

The good thing is that I feel a lot stronger for all the working out I've been doing. And I've noticed that I have very little back pain these days. I'm doing good overall. This last week was just a normal hiccup in any weight loss journey.

Monday, April 6, 2009


After a couple days of not exercising and then a complete breakdown in my diet yesterday and the day before, I turned things around today with jogging 20 minutes straight! I'm very pleased about myself. Once I was able to jog 15 minutes straight, but haven't been able to do that again. Today, I got on the treadmill and told myself I would do 20 minutes no matter what. It was so hard; I had a painful stitch the last 5 minutes and my legs were burning like crazy. I was dripping sweat and breathing like my lungs were going to callapse. But, I did it and I'm very happy with myself.

Today I've eaten:

1 cup coffee w/ 1% milk and 2 tsp sugar
1 cup strawberries
Lean Cuisine meal
roasted veggies and light sour cream
3 glasses of water so far

I will make a potato and low-fat cheese later tonight.

Hoping between today and whatever workout I do tomorrow, I can reverse the damage of the last few days and at least not have a gain for a week.

Hard Fall

I did not have a good weekend. It started with receiving our paychecks and learning that hubby's was really, really short. That just set me off on the wrong foot. From there, the baby kept me up most of Friday night and when he finally did go to sleep I couldn't because I was still freaking about money.

Saturday morning, got into a short fight with hubby. Tried to call back to apologize to make amends and he pretty much told me to take a long walk off a short plank. I tried called him again that night and he told me to read his email before hanging up on me. So, I read his email and he says he doesn't want to hear from me until I've sought medical treatment for my depression. Then he added not to try calling him or talking to him cuz he's trying to work. So, I haven't called him or tried to talk to him since Saturday night.

Needless to say, yesterday I pretty much hurled myself off the wagon. I ate when I didn't want to eat. I ate comfort food like mac & cheese and ice cream. I ate until I felt slightly ill and then I ate some more.

I didn't exercise. I didn't try to go for a walk or take the kids to the park or anything productive except some minor house cleaning. I read for most of the day. Then I took a few Simply Sleep and went to bed early.

This morning I feel like crap. I always feel tired and groggy after taking sleeping pills. I have no motivation to do anything productive. I know I gained from yesterday. I can't be bothered to get back into the game.

Simply said, I can't be bothered, with anything.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Moving On

I made some new goals for myself, one of which is to exercise for 100 days consecutively (minus 5 as needed). I am on Day 10. Just 90 days to go. I figure meeting this goal will definitely cement the exercise habit. I am counting exercise as at the minimum a 20 minute walk. Most days I am still doing my exercise DVD's. Today I did Yoga Burn, which is like a combo yoga and aerobics. It is a killer, but kinda refreshing too.

We have decided to let the babysitter go since we're really struggling financially at the moment. We've not had her this week and I've managed to work enough each day that I only need to work 2 hours tomorrow to complete my hours for the week.

We also had to cancel my plans for spring break, which is the week after next. I was going to go visit my family for a few days but we just can't afford the fuel for me to get there and back, as well as missing a day or 2 of work. I'm really bummed about that because it means I'll have to wait until June to visit.

Other than all that, everything continues along pretty well. I was eating a packet of mini-donuts from the kids' school snacks and after two I decided I had better figure out how many points the package was. When I realized the entire packet of 4 was 7 points, I stopped at the 2 and ate the remaining 2 for b-fast instead. I was rather proud of my control. I've been doing pretty well staying pretty close to my points budget.


Last Weight: 167.8
Current Weight: 166.2

Weight Lost: -1.6

I'm very pleased with my numbers this morning. I have had a really good week overall. I've had a few slip-ups, but no major falling off the wagon, just minor stuff. Also, I've been super good about portion control, not eating late at night and exercising nearly every day. I only missed one day of exercise in the last 7 days.

I'm definitely feeling better than I did at the beginning of the week. I've got my energy back and feel much more positive about things. Hubby and I are finally really talking again and I'm looking forward to him coming home. Still another week to go, though.

The only fly in my ointment is that I'm finding it really difficult to sleep. I often have trouble sleeping when hubby first goes out of town, but I'm still tossing and turning a week later. When I finally do fall asleep, I'm not getting more than an hour or 2 of sleep before the baby wakes (he wakes AT LEAST once a night, if not twice) and I'm back to tossing and turning, trying to get back to sleep. This morning I woke up at 5:30 am, and could not go back to sleep even though I'd only slept a few hours. So, I'm resigned to feeling tired and grouchy today. I just hope it doesn't weaken my resolve with regard to my diet!