Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I'm not deluding myself. I know that every morning I get on the scale it is a little higher than the day before. Nothing earthshattering, but half a pound here, a quarter of a pound there... it all adds up eventually. And it's all down to my eating. I CAN'T STOP EATING AT NIGHT! Seriously, I am eating toast with butter and jam at 11:00 pm. Or, as with last night, 2 candy bars and then a piece of sour dough bread with butter. And I can't seem to CARE. I mean, of course I care about gaining, but at the moment when I'm eating I really don't care. I don't care if I gain weight from processed, sugared, fattening food. I just want to eat it. In fact, I'm getting to the point where I'm kinda freaking out if I don't have something sweet to eat after dinner. Like something bad will happen if I don't get an after-dinner treat. So frustrating! I've purchased a book on dealing with emotional eating, but I have to actually READ the thing for it to potentially have any impact. That's my goal for tonight - to read the damn book. And NOT have an after-dinner sweet.