I have won the Self-Sabotage of the Year award! Seriously, I have been binge-eating for 2 days. Last night we went out to dinner and I ate what I'm sure is one of the most fattening meals on the menu and then came home and got into the kids' school lunch snacks and ate until I felt ill. And I STILL wanted to eat. I exercised for the requisite 20 minutes yesterday, but that was it. I hardly broke a sweat. Today I feel GROSS!! My weight was back up to 165 (up 2 pounds again) and my pants were already feeling slightly snugger than the last time I wore them.
What is up with this!?!?!? Why do I finally lose a couple pounds and then start the gain/loss cycle again. This has been going on since I started to lose weight a year ago: I do well enough to lose a couple pounds, then do the gain/loss for several weeks, then maybe get another solid 1 or 2 pound gain before I revert to the gain/loss of the same few pounds. This has led me to lose a total of 4 pounds since January 1st!!!! Despite exercising religiously for months, despite forcing myself to drink water and eat healthier, I CANNOT seem to stay on track long enough to actually lose all this damned weight! I'm very disgusted with myself, to be honest. I have been wanting to get into the 150's for months and whenever I get down around 162 or 163, I screw up and gain instead of lose the last couple pounds to put me in the 150's. Its mental!!
That's it, I'm not going to write anything more about it.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
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