Thursday, May 28, 2009


Weight: 164.0
GAIN: 0.6

Could have been waaaaay worse. I think the only thing that saved me was the fact that I jogged for 20 minutes yesterday AND did a pilates workout.

Hubby and I have been fighting on and off all day. Lots of tension here as my 16 year old son, whose been living with his grandmother because he was running away from home when he was living with us, decided to steal $300 (between his dying great-aunt's purse and the church donations) and purchased himself an I-Pod. This is after weeks of skipping school and being rebellious, not listening to grandma and being rude to her, her mother, her aunt, his teachers, school principal and counselors. Yet again, he is failing in school and is on school suspension.

Although he was supposed to stay with grandma through next school year, she said she does not feel safe with him in the house with 2 ailing older women.

I didn't want to bring his destructive behavior home and I was worried he'd just run away again anyway. So...I sent him to live with his dad in Florida. I always said I wouldn't be one of those divorced parents who ships their kid off to the other parent when things got tough. But, I am doing so and I'm just sorry for being so judgmental before. Raising adolescents is NOT easy - raising angry male adolescents who have realized that no one can really do anything to control them is nearly impossible. I've decided that I've raised him to the best of my ability for 16 years and I'm letting my ex-husband have a go at actually being a parent.

All I can hope is that my son grows out of this behavior with age and life experience.

I feel like an utter failure as a parent to him. It makes me feel very sad.

Exercise helps but my diet is still struggling. It seems minor compared to the real problems going on - although I suspect I'm just trying to justify binge-like behavior so I can "eat" my feelings and bury them under a sugar-fat high.

I haven't given up, but it definitely feels futile.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Judy,

    I highly recommend you read Lyn's post today at

    I thought of you when I read her post.

    Don't lose hope.