Monday, May 18, 2009

Skating By

I haven't been on form for a couple weeks now. I have an occasional good day and but overall I'm not doing so well. I'm still eating a lot more veggies and fruit than I used to, but I'm not tracking my food intake and I know I'm going over on a lot of days. I've been slowly gaining and then losing the same couple pounds for the last 2 weeks. I'm back up 1 1/2 pounds from several weeks ago. I didn't exercise at all this weekend, although I justified that with the fact that I was so busy. Saturday we were busy until I went to bed at 10:30 pm and it was an active busy day, so I don't feel bad about not exercising that day. But, Sunday I was just lazy. In fact, I felt truly lethargic. I don't know what was wrong with me. I just sat around and watched movies except for some shopping. I made a half-hearted attempt to find some better-fitting pants, but when all 4 I tried on were too small, I gave up and left the store. I couldn't stop eating yesterday. I ate good foods and bad foods - from early morning until late at night. I probably consumed 3000 calories yesterday - a lot of it was fruits and veggies, but I had a lot of bad stuff too. And I ate full-fat ranch with my veggies. I just didn't care - or I did, but I told myself I didn't.

I'm just wondering where my motivation has gone. Some days I can kinda recapture my motivation and really make the effort toward losing weight but too many days I just can't be bothered. I am no longer automatically turning to water or diet soda. I'm not automatically saying no to foods that I know are high-fat or calorie.

Today was the first weekday that I woke up and decided immediately not to do my mid-day workout. I didn't even try to argue myself into doing it.

I just feel done somehow and I'm not sure how to undone myself.


  1. Can you think of the reasons why you wanted to lose weight in the first place? Maybe make a list?

    For your workout: do it anyway. Look at it like brushing your teeth or showering if you have to. Something you have to do. You'll probably feel glad you did it afterwards.

    Celebrate those successes, though, like the increased fruits and veggies and occasional good days.

    I hope you find what you need to get back on track. Good luck.

  2. The track is a lot wider than you think. Concentrate on the positive changes you've made. You'll get there by accumulating all those small victories. Forget perfection, it doesn't exist. Pat yourself on the back a lot!! Keep going.