Saturday, May 23, 2009

Good News & Unrelated Quandary

So hubby is back on Monday - yay! That's only 2 days away. And then he's home for an entire week and then when he goes on his next trip I'll be going with him since the kids will be out of school. Lots to look forward to, then.

Yesterday wasn't so hot on the food front or workout front, but it wasn't a complete failure either. I ate a Burrito Supreme at Taco Bell and then a bit more (understatement) than a serving of light ice cream. I also had a homemade strawberry smoothie and some sunflower seeds after dinner. Suffice it to say, despite drinking 3 glasses of water before bed, I hardly had to pee this morning I'm retaining so much water. After logging all the numbers, with my 30 minute of easy walk on the treadmill, I still managed to theoretically burn more calories than I consumed, but barely. Just another maintenance day :)

Today I've done better so far. I've already done a good Pilates workout and, after taking the kids to the library, we're going to the park where I'll chase the little ones and maybe squeeze in a bit of tennis with my 13 year old and her friend, if the little ones cooperate.

So, totally off topic, I'm having a bit of a quandary with my 13 year old's bff. See, her parents are apparently non-working and haven't for a long time - depending upon the generosity of the government and others for their livelihood. I've already had a problem with them expecting me to cart their several kids around on several occasions when I've offered to drive my daughter and her friend to some function or other. Plus, the first night her friend stayed the night, her mom told me it was okay with her for her daughter to stay the entire weekend. Uhh...okaaaay, bit strange, but whatev.

So what is happening now is that twice the friend's mom has asked me for money for gas for her borrowed suburban. The first time she asked, I had all of $5 in my wallet to last me the rest of the week so there was no question. This time, last night, I have a little money, but we're still struggling ourselves. I was going to give her $5 but then I thought: 1. we work really hard for our money and we're still struggling enough ourselves so that we have NO disposable income; 2. if I give them money this time it sets up a precedent. At the time, I kinda hummed and hawed, and just didn't commit either way. After thinking it through, I decided "no" for the 2 reasons I gave as well as feeling unwilling to give away money that I know will be used for food for our family.

Anyway, so when I went to pick up the friend, the mother was standing outside their apartments. She came over and chatted in a friendly way and then, abruptly, said "so I guess you didn't get me any gas money." I was a bit taken aback and was like "" She just nodded and I finally said "well, I have a couple errands to run" and she said "okay, y'all have fun" but in a not as friendly way. I felt really guilty for not giving her money knowing I was about to spend money buying groceries and getting dinner for the kids and I. But, then I was like, its not my job to give them money, right??? And, she said the money was for her to be able to get to school and back, yet I saw that their borrowed suburban's passenger side door was open like they were getting ready to go somewhere and its a Friday night so I doubt she's on her way to school. So, I was kinda ticked off that I was feeling bad for not giving them money to do whatever they were going to do... I mean, $5 isn't a LOT of money and I COULD afford to give it to her (although I think she was expecting more than $5) but... it just feels like its an avenue I don't even want to contemplate traveling down.

I just worry that the parents may make it difficult for the friend to come over because they're pissed at me and also that I'm going to be reluctant to be involved in any way with the friend because I don't want to be put in that position. Its not the friend's fault her parents are like that... Does that sound harsh?

What do you think? Was I right in not giving them money??


  1. Anybody driving a Suburban, a borrowed Suburban, has mighty big balls to beg for gas money. I am mildly confrontational so there would have been a scene if that was me. Kudos for keeping your cool.

  2. You were right.

    Don't feel guilty and don't second guess your instincts. It was really nervy of her to put you in that position.

  3. You were right. Sounds like she really wants to get her foot in the door (of your bank, lol).

    I'm not confrontational and would no doubt have felt uncomfortable like you did. I suppose, if worst comes to worst, just say your family is on a very tight budget and sorry, but you just can't afford to lend anybody anything.

  4. I think you were right on all accounts about not giving her money. It would definitely set a precedent, one you don't need to be dealing with...even if you had the extra money. You should NEVER feel guilty about putting your family needs first!