Weigh-In

Weight: 149
Gain: 1.6

Yep, this week hasn't been going so well. Monday I did really well and then bombed on Tuesday and Wednesday. Plus, I had eaten my way through the weekend, starting on Friday. So, it is not surprising that this week was a gain. I'm just glad that it wasn't more of a gain. Today is going well, so far, so I hope to keep things on an even keel.

One thing I noticed when I was eating too much, is I had stopped using artificial sweetener, Truvia, in my morning tea because it was making me feel nauseated. Instead, I started using raw sugar or honey in my morning tea or coffee. Last night I purchased some Splenda and put that in my morning tea and I feel much more in control of my hunger again. In fact, today was the first day I have stuck to my 5 hour rule this week. There may be something to that after all. I'll see how the rest of my day goes; although I am pretty determined to do well.

I am considering trying Weight Watchers again, but can't decide. Does anyone have any comments or suggestions about it?

And it started out so well...

I did well at the beginning of the day, but it went downhill after lunch. Well, even before that I guess because I didn't make it to my first goal of no sugar for the first 5 hours of my day. I didn't make it with my second goal of no eating afer 9:00 pm. I didn't exercise at all today. And I didn't stay under 1400 calories. In fact, I probably didn't stay under 2000 calories. Ugh! I did so well yesterday!!! Well, tomorrow, as always, another day. I'll just start again.

Good day

And, no, I wasn't saying hello in Australian.

Today was a good day for eating. I kept my calories under 1400, never felt like I was starving hungry and managed to keep to my am rule of no processed sugar. I had one moment when I was going to have a few Jolly Rancher candies, but after moaning about overeating all weekend, hubby grabbed the candies and threw them in the trash. I NEARLY went into the trash to retrieve them when he wasn't looking, but managed to resist and then the craving went away. Later, when I was driving my 7 year old to the store, I had a candy that had been in my purse, but didn't have any more than that even though there were more in my purse. That was a good moment :)

I worked out to a Jillian Michaels DVD today, which kicked my butt. I didn't even complete the full 40 minute workout; probably I did about 30 minutes. Ah well, 30 minutes is much better than nothing.

If it isn't raining in the morning, I'll be going for a jog with a friend. That will be a relief after Jillian Michaels :)

I've implemented 2 new "rules." Not really rules, per se, but I don't have a better word for it. The first is no eating after 9pm. Not hard and fast (I'm not going to quickly cram a bunch of food in at 8:59 pm) but I want to try to stop eating so mindlessly at night and thought this may help. The second is that for every 3 days I do well, I get one day off. Not completely off, like eat a million calories with no sweat, but off as in not having to actually count calories. Maybe this will help me from completely losing it and going bonkers with my eating after being religious about withholding calories for several days. I know that I just have to do well tomorrow and the next day and then I can relax my eating regimen a little and not having to feel guilty or bad about it. I'll let you know how that goes.

The Weekend

Aren't the weekends great for getting off plan? I tracked my calories (over 2000) Friday and Saturday but didn't even bother today. My saving grace, if there is one, is that I've been so busy! And not just with a lot of things to do to fill up my day, but with being actively busy. Saturday I spent the entire morning cleaning, then went for a walk with a friend, then cleaned up from our visit/dinner, then got on the treadmill for another 30 minutes. I didn't finally sit down last night until after 10pm.

Today I started with a walk with a friend, then cleaned again, then went to a friend's for a late lunch and walked again, then returned home and went for a bike ride with my daughter, then spent the last two hours cleaning again. Ugh, so much cleaning! And I'm doing laundry, which needs to be put away before I can go to bed. So, although I've been eating and eating and eating, at least I've also been burning and burning and burning. Probably not more than I've been eating but I'm hoping to at least break even.

Tomorrow is Monday, so back to the grind stone and back to counting calories and my 5 hour, no refined sugar rule. I also want to implement a no eating after 9pm rule to stop the night time snacking. The snacking is making up 50% of my calories at the moment - not good!

I'm confident next week will go well.

All part of the process...

I had several good days of eating and exercising and then last night.. I overate. Its all part of the cycle and the process. I ate a lot tonight, too, but not so much as last night. And tonight was just eating a little more dinner than I needed to. Last night, I ate until I felt sick. I woke at 2am and still felt full. And it was all ice cream and candy and treats, etc. etc. Anyway, so I woke this morning disgusted with myself, but then I realized that it is all part of the process. No one can be 100% and trying to keep my calories to within a certain amount always causes me to feel deprived and rebound by eating too much. So, today I didn't mind if I ate a little more at dinner. I'll just do an extra-long walk on the treadmill. It doesn't mean that I failed or that I have to start over or that I "lost" any of the ground I had gained. It just means that I have to keep going, day to day, trying to make good choices and trying to stay busy and trying to keep exercising. I do pretty good overall, and that's what counts.

Weigh-In

Weight: 147.4
Loss: 2.4

I actually lost more than that because my weight had gotten up to around 152 or 153, but I went by the last weight I had published on here. It was great to get back to my lowest weight! And in less than a week! I'm very pleased. I know that the loss will slow down, but that's okay as long as it keeps going down. I am feeling good about my weight loss efforts and like I can maintain them. I just feel I've turned a corner. That other night, when I had the talk with myself, something just seemed to click in my mind.

The exercising has been going well, too. Yesterday I went for a walk and then actually worked on my Wii Fit, which I haven't done in months. Tonight I will just walk because I'm a little sore from 2 days of working on my side leg muscles. They aren't too sore, but enough that I think I should give it a rest. Anyway, a walk will be good!

Hunger

There is no hunger like the 3rd day of being "on plan." It doesn't matter how many veggies and fruit I eat or water and unsweetened tea I drink, I am HUNGRY! Its okay, though, cuz I know that it means I am burning through all this cushy fat covering my body. And that's what I want. Still, I want to eat everything in the kitchen too. Its not even like I'm trying to stay under 800 calories or something stupid, I'm trying to stay under 1400, which should be easy. But, of course, it isn't. And I know it isn't because I NEED more than 1400 calories but because my body (my stomach) is accustomed to getting more than 2000 calories and we are built to maintain the status quo. My tummy will become accustomed to less calories and I will feel less hungry...eventually.

The good news is that I am back under 150, yay! I was very excited to see 148 on the scale this morning. I'm still above my lowest weight of 147, but it's just such a relief to get away from the 152 I had eaten my way back up to. Yeah, that was only a 5 pound gain, but... it was a 5 pound GAIN! So frustrating when it takes at least 2 weeks to take 5 pounds back off again. But, enough of that, I'm getting back down there and that's the important thing. And I really feel that doing the no refined sugar for 5 hours per day has been a huge help. Not just because I don't eat as many calories during those 5 hours and I am learning more about the food that I eat, but because it proved to me that I CAN say no and I CAN control what I eat. I think that was the catalyst for me getting back to seriously cutting my overall calories.

Not that I'm going to be ridiculous about it. In fact, when I add up my calories, I'm writing it down in a notebook and guesstimating my calories rather than getting all detailed about it. And I have had a day or 2 when I didn't stick to my no sugar morning but I just started again the next day. And today I will go out to lunch with hubby and probably eat most of my calories for the day in that one meal, but that's okay too. I'll just do an extra-good workout later. There's gotta be give and take in any weight loss plan.

New Beginnings

Last night, as I was trying to fall asleep with a too-full stomach and feeling like such a fat pig, I decided that enough was enough. I CAN stop eating, if I really want to. I have proven to myself that I can say no to unhealthy food even when I'm truly hungry. I have proven to myself that it isn't about willpower or self-control but about making a firm commitment and not being wishy-washy about it. It truly is all in my head.

Thus, today has been a very good day with regarding to eating. I didn't get much of a walk in because it started raining and because I've been so swamped with work; however, I do intend to walk some more this evening on the treadmill. I am bound and determined, finally, to buckle down and start losing some serious weight. I'm tired of kinda trying to lose weight. It's not like I am physically incapable of doing so. I just haven't WANTED to enough. I've wanted the food more than I've wanted to lose weight. Today, I want to lose weight more than I want to eat yummy food.

Eating...and eating...and eating

Roast beef, candy bars, strawberry shortcake, oh my. I am an eating machine. I do not care about fat, nutrition or calories. I do not care about hunger or fullness or what I need or don't need. I do not care about the numbers on a scale, or on the tag of my jeans. I just want the pleasure of yummy food in my mouth and a super full belly. Maybe I died of starvation in a past life. Or I just have a very empty life and I am trying to fill it up with goodies. I can't even say with good food because, although some food I ate was nutritious, the majority was not. Chips and ice cream and fruit snacks that don't actually contain any fruit. Blech! I hate myself and I love to eat. I love to eat and to hate myself.

Tomorrow is a new day - I tell myself this every day. When will tomorrow arrive?

The Plan

I always say I don't have "a plan" but I now do, actually. My plan started out with an experiment, but it is working well enough that I have made it part of my diet plan. My plan is to not eat anything with refined sugar for the first 5 hours of my day from the time I get out of bed. This morning I didn't get out of bed until 9am, so no refined sugar until 2pm. That doesn't mean that I can't have natural sugar, such as a piece of fruit, or even honey if I wanted - just no refined sugar. This has turned out to be a good plan for several reasons:

1. It has cut quite a few calories from my diet. I am drinking my morning tea without sugar. The other morning, we were driving to Seattle and I hadn't planned for breakfast beyond stopping at a convenience store and grabbing a banana. Only, the convenience store I stopped at didn't have any bananas or non-processed foods. I ended up driving to a grocery store and buying a banana and some cheese. If I wasn't sticking to my plan, I would have just eaten a doughnut for breakfast with the kids.

2. I'm forced to eat wholesome food. ALL processed foods has sugar, it seems. Even chips and soups. It's crazy! So, to eat food with no refined sugar, I'm having to eat simple, whole foods, such as fresh fruits, vegetables, even eggs. No bread, of course. I also can eat shredded wheat because it has few ingredients and no sugar. And it has tons of fiber.

3. I'm learning about the food I eat. Beyond the nutrition label, I'm actually reading the ingredient label. This is very educational and it makes me more aware of the foods I am eating.

4. The purpose of the experiement was to see if I could stop the endless eating throughout the day. So far, the plan has been fairly successful in this regard. I have been eating a lot less since I started the plan, although some days I'm still eating more than I should. It doesn't fix everything, but it is improving my overall caloric intake and making me less "insatiably hungry" in the evenings.

5. By gaining control of the first 5 hours of my day, I feel more in control the rest of the day. I am finding that I can turn down junk food even later in the day, just because I KNOW I CAN! I feel happy with myself for sticking to my plan each morning, and that gives me the motivation to keep it up.

The reason I'm only eating this way for the first 5 hours of the day is I would not be able to keep it up all day indefinitely. But I can do 5 hours. Anyone can do 5 hours. Or make it 2 or 3 hours, rather than 5, and build up to it. If you can eat perfectly for even part of your day, you're much better off than eating badly all day. That's my reasoning anyway. And knowing that at some point in my day I can relax the rules and go back to eating most things makes it possible for me to maintain the standard for the 5 hours I need to do it. I have been able to say no to food even when I desperately wanted it, just because I was still in my 5 hour zone. I can do that because I know I can eat it or something similar if I really want to later on. But, later on I usually don't want to anymore.

Experiment Day 2

I only lasted a couple hours this morning without sugar. Well, it wasn't so much that I was craving sugar, I was just super hungry because all I had eaten for breakfast was an apple. I am out of Shredded Wheat cereal and didn't have time to cook up an egg. Tomorrow I will scramble a couple eggs, though, and that will make it easier to stick to my no refined sugar for the first 5 hours rule. The food I had eaten that had refined sugar in it was Vegetarian Chili. Weird huh? But, I guess spaghetti sauce has sugar in it, too, so maybe not so weird.

As far as eating for the remainder of the day, I definitely have regressed from yesterday. I've eaten quite a bit, although not as bad as some previous days. I made a dinner of boneless, skinless chicken and cauliflower, followed by a yogurt. It was good! I still feel hungry though :( And not hungry in a stomach empty sense, but in a I want to keep eating sense.

I didn't walk today or engage in any other form of exercise, so my plan for the evening is to work on some cleaning and then do a Pilates DVD. I haven't done Pilates in forever and I could definitely use with doing that sort of exercise.

So, better get on with it then.

Experiment Day 1

So today was the first day of my experiment of no eating refined sugar in the morning. I decided on 4 hours, from the first time I ate, which was at 10:00 am. I had a bowl of shredded wheat with NO sugar on it. I had a cup of tea w/ Truvia.

I decided to eat lunch at 1:30 since I had company coming at 2 and knew I wouldn't be able to eat again until evening. Which put me before the 4 hour mark. I looked for all sorts of eats, but everything in my cupboard was out - even veggie beef soup!! Did you know veggie beef soup has sugar in it??? I didn't, but now I do. EVERYTHING has sugar in it!! I ended up scrambling a couple eggs with chopped tomatoes and onions. It was actually really yummy and I was glad that I had to put more effort into my lunch than just heating up a can of soup.

As far as how I ate over the day... REALLY well!!! I ate some grapes (which tasted especially sweet after avoiding sugar for my first 2 meals), crackers and cheese and avoided the cookies someone had brought over. For dinner I ate some potato soup, a salad and one piece of whole grain bread. I then had 4 Jolly Rancher candies for dessert :)

I felt much more in control of my eating. I didn't feel like eating beyond hunger or that I couldn't get full. Whether this was due in fact with my avoiding refined sugar for the beginning of my day, or just because of the act in avoiding a certain food made me feel more in control, I have no idea. That's why I wanted to do it for at least 3 days.

I also walked with my neighbor this evening. We hadn't walked earlier as we would have usually, but I decided this evening to just go for a walk and asked if she wanted to join me, which she did. We didn't have our lil ones or strollers so we put in some good mileage. I feel really good about that too.

All in all, a good day!

Breakfast

I do eat breakfast most mornings, although often late in the morning. I don't exactly wake up super early though. However, I'm wondering if part of my overeating is related to my breakfast choice. I've been eating a sourdough English muffin for the past week. I suddenly LOVE sourdough toast but the bread has too many calories so I switched to the English muffins. I then, of course, put butter and low-cal jam on it. That's a lot of bad carbs and fat, right? That's what I'm thinking. Maybe not such a good way to start the day.

Therefore, I'm going to try an experiment. For the next 3 days, I will start my day by eating a bowl of shredded wheat w/ bran cereal (already in the cupboard) WITHOUT sugar, sugar-free tea and MAYBE a piece of friut. No refined sugar before noon. I wonder if that will help change some of my eating habits.

Today I have already gone over my calorie burn for the day. I ate and ate and ate around noon. I had chocolate candy and Sun Chips and crackers and nut clusters. I didn't want to stop eating. Urgh! At least the chocolate candy, crackers and Sun Chips are GONE. I had the kids help me finish them off so there wouldn't be the temptation in the house.

So, let's see how it goes....

WTH??

So, in my last post I said I would start tracking my calories again... and I have done! I have been tracking my calories for the past several days. Yet, everyday, I eat the same crap. Every day I'm logging more calories than I'm burning. There are various ways in Fitday.com to see that you are overeating - a bar graph that shows your intake versus outtake, an active daily caloric goal, which has been showing a negative number for the past several days, a pie chart, etc. etc. So, why do I not care that it goes over every day? Isn't the whole point of tracking so that you say to yourself, "hey! I'm eating more calories than I'm using, I'd better cut back." I just seem to be shrugging my shoulders at it. And it's not like I don't care, because I DO. But, I want to eat the leftover chocolate Easter candy that doesn't even taste that good, regardless. It's driving me batty that I can't come up with a way to stop myself! Feeling very frustrated.

It's a known fact...

when I'm not blogging, I'm not on plan. Not that I have "a plan" other than to try to eat healthy and not consume a lot of junk. I've been doing my usual up and down routine and mostly maintaining around 148 - 149. I'm happy that I have learned to maintain when I'm not actively losing, but I wish I would finish losing the weight I need to lose before going into maintenance mode. Well, it could be worse, right?

We've been moving house the last week so I haven't done any specific exercising. In fact, this is the longest stretch I've gone without walking and I wonder if I will struggle to keep up when I walk with a friend again. The weather has been rainy and cold so there really hasn't been the option to walk, but I haven't tried to fit it in because of the physical demands of moving. I've done most of the move myself, so lots of burning calories. However, rather than take advantage of this to actually lose some weight, I chose to eat fast food for most of those days. Ah well.

Last night I had a craving for potato chips - I never eat chips. Hubby picked some up for me at the store but he also purchased some Sun Chips because he knows I like them. I ate the potato chips, but they weren't as good as I had been imagining they would be (not that this stopped me from eating the bowl I had poured myself). I then ate some of the Sun Chips and they were much more to my liking, so I had a full bowl of them too.

Tomorrow I am going to start tracking calories again. I want to get down to 139, damnit! :)