Well...I did it. I got my pasty, jiggly, dimply fat ass outside, in public, in a hide-nearly-nothing piece of spandex bathing suit. Fortunately, I have a nice suit that drags the eye to cleavage (the one up top) and nips in the waist (as much as it can) and has a little built-in skirt to hide the fat that rubs together at the tops of my thighs. But, really, that's a very, very minor improvement on a basic black one-piece. My size 26 inch thighs were on display despite the 2 inch length skirt on my bathing suit.
But, I was SO glad I did it! We have a pretty cool public pool close to our house. Actually, its two pools, one olympic sized deep pool and one that is half 4 feet deep and half 2 feet deep with a playground in the middle of the 2 feet half of the kiddie pool. Its huge. There are mini water slides, water sprays, things to climb and tunnels to crawl through. My 6 year old had a blast. Then we went to the deep pool and my 6 year old jumped off the side a gazillion times while my 13 year old dived off the high-dive. As it was well over 100 degrees today, I was very happy to be IN the pool, rather than some moms who sat in shorts and t-shirts sweltering in the sun, watching their kids have fun. I also managed to get a few laps in and feel contentedly tired and sun-burned.
I'm especially proud of myself for getting over my self-consciousness and having fun. I still felt a bit uncomfortable whenever I had to walk around but, you know, no one really looked twice at me and why should they? They were there to have fun or stay cool or watch their kids have fun, not to poke fun at the fat girl. They couldn't care less that I was presenting my wide-load in all its pale glory. And if anyone did stare in shock/horror/judgment, I was too busy having fun to notice.
I'm already looking forward to going again. I LOVE the feel of being completely immersed in water. And next time I'll feel even less uncomfortable.
Now I need to get into my gym pool once in a blue moon so I can actually get a good, solid workout in.