Friday, March 27, 2009

Still More Just Okay

Yesterday was another "okay" day. Today, I haven't eaten yet, which isn't a good thing. I am struggling with feeling depressed this week.

Firstly, I found out that hubby will be out of town until the 8th and he's already been gone nearly a week. When he left, we were still on shaky ground from all the BS that has been going on with the kids and money. I'm very happy for him to have work, but not that he is going to be gone so long. Our phone conversations are short and uncomfortable.

I also feel sorta abandoned when he's gone. Besides the babysitter, I don't know anyone where we live still. My family is 600 miles away. When something happens, I don't have someone to turn to, aside from my 23 year old babysitter.

For instance, the garage door isn't working and I don't know how to fix it. I managed to detach it from the motor so I could get it closed, but now anyone could walk up to it and open it and get into the garage. There's no lock on it because its supposed to be powered.

Then, last night I went to go to the store to get milk, and the battery was dead on my van because my daughter had left the light on inside when she'd been looking for a book the night before. So, I had to wait until this morning when the babysitter arrived to ask for a jump. I could have asked the neighbors, but I'm not on friendly terms with any of them. I think we're not accepted here because its an uppity neighborhood and we're "not from around here," have too many kids and our house seems chaotic. One neighbor is semi-friendly but the others "blanked" me when I tried waving and being neighborly when we first moved here.

So, I was able to get my van started with the babysitter's help, but she is going out of town for the rest of the week. So, not only will I have to try to work without anyone to watch the baby all day, but I really won't have any help for these kinds of problems after today.

I guess I just need to be a big girl and take care of things myself. I mean, other women must do it all the time, right? I don't need a man to help me fix my problems. Except that I much prefer it that way.

I'm still exercising everyday, but still feeling down and draggy.

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