Thursday, February 5, 2009

Surviving the bad days

Official weigh day, here are my numbers:

Weight: 168.0
Weight lost this week: 0

I'm actually okay with my numbers this week because over the weekend and the beginning of this week, the scale had moved back to 169, so I'm glad it went back down by this morning. I didn't lost anything, but at least I didn't gain anything!

Yesterday was a really bad day. It started at 4:00 am when Nathan, my 1 year old, wouldn't stay asleep. Alleyne had had a long day at work the previous day and I was just tired from my new schedule. I took a turn with Nathan but he just cried and fussed because he was so tired but wouldn't go to sleep and that kept Alleyne awake too. Later that morning, Alleyne and I got into a huge fight during which neither of us was being reasonable because we were both so tired. It ended up being a pretty horrific fight so that I called off at work because I was a mess. Alleyne calmed down and took a nap with Nathan and I wasn't sure what to do with myself at that point. I was thinking I should try to work, but knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate and my work is such that I don't have much room for mistakes. So, I went to the gym. That is a first for me, to react to stress and upset with exercise! But, I did an hour on the treadmill, alternating between walking, jogging and hill climbing. I felt better after an hour but so tired physically that I was spinning. So, I came home and tried to take a nap. Alleyne got up with Nathan and then I couldn't sleep because I was stressed about my fight with Alleyne, which we still hadn't resolved. I finally sat him down in the evening and we smoothed everything out.

So, I'm really hoping today is a lot better. Alleyne is going out of town again tomorrow, so I'm bummed about that. But, it's got to be an improvement over yesterday.

I did okay with my eating yesterday despite everything. Actually, I didn't eat a heck of a lot most of the day because I don't tend to eat during a crisis but after the crisis.

I did eat a Butterfinger last night though. I didn't even enjoy it and knew I wasn't enjoying it while I was eating it, but ate it anyway. One of these days I'll be able to put the damn thing down.

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